I just ate my entire body weight in pasta – a trip to Sicily…

AAAAARRRRRRGH!

Last week I was lucky enough to spend a week’s holiday in Sicily – land of the slow food movement – and if I didn’t just spend the entire 7 days doing my best foie gras duck impression. Turns out, those Sicilians really know their onions. And tomatoes… and coffee, chocolate, cheese and ice-cream…

Drive or wander through the island – avoiding the other scooters and crazy motorists to a cacophony of honking horns and dire Italian radio – and you can’t help but be struck by the incredible natural abundance.  As the hot hot sun beats down on lemon and orange trees and olive groves the air is scented with fresh sage and lavender and the roadside stalls heave with swollen, ripe tomatoes, you realise, this is going to be tasty. Bloody tasty.

Even a trip to Carrefour (full disclosure: mooching in foreign supermarkets is one of my ultimate nerdy pleasures) reveals piles of fresh, wonderfully misshapen fruits – surrounded by greedy buzzy flies – and stacks of grana padano, mounds of shiny jellyfish and squid and giant swordfish jutting into the aisles. Whole baby rabbits – their little blue eyes staring glassily through the clingfilm peek at you. And there is row upon row of wine and coffee and olive oil.

World's LARGEST garlic.

Our barbecues – beef, pepper and chilli kebabs - and lamb chops marinated for days in oil and rosemary, huge langoustines grilled over the coals and pasta dressed in a lemon and thyme dressing (fresh from the garden!) with tomatoes and olives in lashings of oil – were intense. From the peach and ham salad to the peppers stuffed with garlic-y, cheesy risotto, everything was fresh and everything was bursting with flavour.

In Noto, a stunning Baroque town, we went for ice-cream at the famous Cafe Sicilia. there we scoffed on granita (in mouth-tingling lemon, juicy blood orange and punchy espresso), smooth hazelnut and rich chocolate gelato and I wolfed down a cassata, made with ricotta, candied fruit and pistachio.

In Modica we bought chocolate from Antica Dolceria Bonajuto - a stunning little artisan chocolate shop where they have made chocolate the same way for six generations. And the chocolate was flavoured with nutmeg or orange peel, pepper or vanilla. Amazing. We were offered and duly tried (more than once) ‘mpanatigghi - a South American empanada – which was filled with meat and chocolate. It was sweet, spicy and slightly metallic. Not entirely lovely but you know, interesting…

Gelato in Syracuse

At dinner in slow-food tavernas we feasted until we could barely move (seriously, it was filthy) on pork gelatine, arancini - deep fried rice balls – juicy olives, local cheese and salami, mussels, swordfish, homemade ravioli, huge snails, grilled courgette and peppers, so juicy and tender, lasagne cacate, sausages cooked in red wine, giant calzones and tender tomato salads. And that was just for starters!

We ate in bustling squares and in peaceful terraces,  we were served with grace and panache and we washed down our food with gallons of punchy red wine.

On a silly level I loved polishing off my meal and then troughing on a crème brûlée vienetta (why why why can’t we get them in the UK?!) and I loved the gorgeous vanilla wafers with my morning espresso. I loved the way that on every corner adults of every persuasion ate icecream at all hours – quite rightly in my opinion. And I jolly well adored seeing the “let’s pizza” hot pizza dispenser in the airport. That’s right. A machine that dispenses slices of pizza. Holy macaroni! The only downside was that it was broken when we rushed to use it but still, a country that has pizza dispensers is all right by me…

Sicily is without question a bombastic place. The dramatic history, the stunning and some times dreadful architecture, the mountains and coastline, the noise and the fuss, the sheer drama of the place is incredible. For those that like to eat and drink and eat and drink again - go. Wear loose fitting outfits and buy a bigger swimsuit. Worry about your diet when you get back. Feast. You won’t regret it! 

As fresh as it gets.

Guilty Pleasures: Kitsch Party Food

So bad it’s brill?

I have a confession to make. Yes, another one.  I love, beyond rhyme or reason, terrible terrible party food. I acknowledge that they are crimes against both decency and the palate, but I adore awful party platters.

For me there’s little finer in the world than a flimsy paper plate, bedecked with a jolly napkin, and adorned with cucumber sandwiches, the edges curling in the afternoon warmth, or a plate of slightly soft crisps, perhaps teamed with a cocktail sausage skewered on a stick.

Every time I throw a party I insist on putting on a “good spread” and every single time the desire to cook-up kitsch and often entirely beige food overwhelms me.

In the picture taken – held during one of my famed Eurovision parties – I insisted on making a hedgehog with pineapple-and-cheese sticks as the spikes. At my last birthday party I just had to buy Blue Nun and cheap mini scotch-eggs. They were dire. But I loved them. There have been fondus and terrible punch. Home-made bunting and natty table-cloths oh and disconcertingly soggy mini-pizzas.  So there, I admit it. I lay my confession bare for you to pour scorn and heap derision.

Or maybe, just maybe. You love naff party-food too? Yeah?

Review: Rodizio Brazil

Tender moments

Address: 26 Putney High Street

Telephone: 020 8780 1750

Website: http://rodiziobrazil.com/putney.html

Before I say anything, I must say – and no smirking at the back of the class – that it’s not everyday that a strange man offers me his meat sword, but in Rodizio this is all perfectly normal, decent and carried off with honest charm.

Located just near Putney Bridge, this Brazilian style steakhouse offers diners the chance to eat unlimited cuts of barbequed meat. For under £15 it’s a beef-fest of truly epic proportions! On offer was Calabresa (flamed sausage), Frango a Passarinho (crispy chicken), Juicy sirloin steak, pork belly, Coraҫӑ (chicken hearts) and other chunks of meat that I completely failed to identify! The sirloin steak must get special props for being cooked to perfection. Juicy, rare and literally dripping – it was sublime.

Washing down my meal with Brahma and totally failing to adhere to the golden rule of buffets (don’t fill up on bread!) I took full advantage of the salad bar and gorged on all manner of tasty sides: juicy asparagus, grilled mixed vegetables, fried bananas, beans and rice. It was all too much though and after a while I was pleading for the traffic light on our table to be turned from green to red.

The meal was finished with a few cuts of pineapple – that had been coated in sugar and spices and grilled – and were utterly sweet and subtle and juicy. The whole experience was fun and the men with the skewers made us feel welcome and talked us through the dishes beautifully.

The only drawbacks were that it could be a tad pricey to opt-in to the buffet if you’re not intending on eating like a hungry peasant and that the atmosphere could have been livelier.  Certainly my friends enjoyed it – the boys at the table in particular looked like they were in heaven as skewer after skewer made an appearance – and if you can brave the prospect of the dreaded meat-sweats then do give it a go!

7 Stars (*******)

Review: Needoo Grill

A tiny fraction of the food we scoffed.

Address:  87 New Road, Whitechapel, E1 1HH

Telephone: 020 7247 0648
Website: http://www.needoogrill.co.uk/

When my good friend Alex – who makes the tastiest pies, ever, incidentally – asked if I had ever been to Needoos I had to confess that I hadn’t even heard of it, let alone had dinner there. So we decided to go as soon as we could and on Friday, after promising not to even look at the website (so as not to ruin the surprise!), I left work and journeyed to Whitechapel, along with three hungry boys, for what was an AMAZING feast.

Needoos looks like nothing special from the outside, but as soon as you get inside the smells confirm that you’re in for a treat. We had a table booked (worth doing as it was always busy) and sat next to a telly playing bollywood (I love eating in places with TVs as they seem foreign to me somehow..) and Alex did a Dad and ordered nothing short of a month’s amount of food: peshwari and garlic naans, seek kebabs, lamb chops, tandoori chicken, Daighi slow cooked meat, Daal baingun and Punjab Tinda. He also did the Dad joke – “what are you all having then?…” when the table filled with dish upon dish of perfectly, tender, spiced and sizzling meat.

The food was out of this world. Everything was hot and fresh off the grill, perfectly spiced, succulent and juicy. The daal was the best I’ve ever had and the naan breads fluffy and fragrant. The four of us barely spoke as we scoffed mountains of meat. The staff were super friendly and gave old-school proper service. There was the obligatory and oh-so-welcome hot-towels and choccy-mints and amazingly the whole meal came to less than £15 each.  A freaking miracle. The best Indian meal I’ve ever had, bar none. It made my belly very happy!

Stars: **********(10)

Recipe: Bangers and Mash

For Bodger and Bagder

It’s still winter which means it’s still perfectly legitimate to scoff stodge. Lots and lots of stodge. And this is about as stodgy as it gets: garlic sausage, cheddar mash, a few token peas (for a bit of green on the plate) and onion, mustard gravy. Yum.

To buy:

* 6 x garlic sausages   *4 medium maris piper potatoes   *1 onion   *2 handfuls of grated cheddar   *peas   *knob of butter   *full fat milk   *beef gravy   *Dijon mustard   *salt and pepper

To make:

1. Pre-heat the grill and cook the sausages (mine are always the Squiggly pig ones from the Oval market, which cannot be beaten).

2. Meanwhile, peel the tats and boil in salty water. Chop the onion and place in a frying pan.

3. After about twenty minutes mash the potatoes, on a gentle heat, add the butter, cheese and milk. Purree until smooth and gooey. Leave to cook through.

4. Fry the onion and boil the peas, heat the gravyand add the mustard. Tip in the onions.

5. Throw everything on a plate, season like crazy and then devour.

An easy post-pub dinner that tastes properly wholesome and tingles your tastebuds. Yum.

Recipe: Moroccan Meatballs with herby couscous

Friday night scoffs.

On a cold London night, when it’s grey and there’s drizzle in the air, it’s good to eat something that evokes a distant land heavy with spices,  lively bazaars and exotic ladies… and sometimes it’s just great to eat meatballs!! This dinner takes about an hour and it’s super fun and easy to make. This is good for for hungry bellies.

To buy:

*500g lean minced lamb   *1 red onion v.finely chopped   *2 garlic cloves v.finely chopped   *a large chunk of ginger finely sliced   *a large pinch of dired chilli flakes   2tsp ground cumin   *1tsp ground cinnamon   *large glug of olive oil   *pinch of brown sugar   *2x400g tins of plum tomatoes   *2ooml chicken stock   *small bunch of chopped coriander.   For the cous cous: *200g cous cous   *50g butter   *350ml chicken stock   *small bunch of chopped coriander   *small bunch of chopped parsley.

1. Put the lamb, onion, half the garlic, half the ginger and half the spices in a bowl and season well. Mix with clean hands – don’t be scared, it’s easy - and form into little meatballs (you’ll make around 30).

2. Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large non-stick pan and add the meatballs in batches, frying until browned all over. Scoop the meatballs out and place on some kitchen-roll and set aside.  Then add the rest of the garlic, ginger and spices and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the tomatoes and stock and season. Add a generous pinch of sugar and extra spices to taste.  Simmer for 10 minutes, then return the meatballs to the pan and cook for another 20 minutes until sauce is thickened. When it begins to look a bit gloopy, stir in the coriander.

3. To make the couscous put it in a bowl with the butter and loads of salt and pepper. Pour over the chicken stock and cover with clingfilm. Leave for 10 minutes. Stir the herbs through.

4. Serve the cous cous with meatballs.

This recipe is taken from the goodfood one and jazzed up just a touch. Perfect for simple suppers and really very good.

Recipe: Lasagne Al Forno

..nom nom nom.

This is a perfect Sunday afternoon dinner. It makes enough for 4 mighty portions and if there’s only 2 people scoffing then you can save half and have enough for an easy school-night dinner another time. It is rich, old-school and only a little bit naughty. If it’s good enough for Garfield…
 
To buy -
*  2tbsp olive oil   *100g chopped pancetta   *1 red onion   *2 garlic clove   *250g fresh beef mince   *2 celery sticks   *2 carrots   *pinch of sugar   *1/2tsp dried oregano   *400g tin of chopped tomatoes   *squirt of sundried tomato paste   *2 tsp Dijon mustard   *140g cheddar cheese  *225g lasagne sheets   *115g parmesan cheese (and extra to serve)   *salt and pepper   *300ml Bechamel Sauce: *300ml fresh milk   *1 bay leaf   *slice of onion   *sprinkle of mace and sprinkle of nutmeg   *25g butter   *25g plain flour
 
To make -
1. Finely chop the carrots and celery and onion and garlic. Heat the oil in a large heavy-based pan and add the pancetta, cook on a medium heat, stirring occasionally for about 3 minutes.
2. Chop the onion and garlic and add to the pan, stir now and again and after about five minutes or so it will be nice and soft.
3. Add the beef and break up gentle. Brown the beef and then add the celery and carrots.  Cook for about five minutes.
4. Season to taste and then add the sugar, oregano, tomatoes and tomato purée. Bring to the boil then reduce the heat and simmer for 30 minutes.
5. Preheat the oven to 190oC and get to work on the béchamel sauce.
6. Pour the milk into a saucepan and add the bay leave, pepper, slice of onion, nutmeg and mace. Bring to just below boiling point and then remove the pan from the heat, cover and leave to infuse for out 10 minutes. Strain the milk into a jug and then discard the flavourings.
7. Melt the butter in another saucepan and sprinkle in the flour and cook over a low heat, stirring all the time, for 2 minutes. Remove the pan from the heat and gradually stir in the milk.
8. Return the pan to a low heat and bring to the boil, stirring constantly. Cook, stirring all the time until it’s thick and smooth. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
9. Now add the mustard and Cheddar cheese into the Bechamel sauce, it will look silky and smell great.
10. In a large rectangular ovenproof dish make alternate layers of meat, lasagne sheets and parmesan cheese. Pour the cheese-y béchamel sauce over the layers covering them completely and then cover the lasagne with a sprinkling of parmesan cheese.
11. Bake in the preheated oven for about 30 minutes. Like the stranglers song it’ll be golden brown and bubbling away.
12. Serve immediately with a fresh salad – I like rocket, little tomatoes and pine nuts.
 
Yummmmm. Eat. Smile and then time for a little lie-down…

Guilty Pleasure: burgers.

filthy goodness

You know you shouldn’t.  But sometimes, now and again, you have to roll up your sleeves, open your mouth wide and fill it with filthy burger-y goodness.

This burger -a prime example of a drunken feast – was snaffled up in Helsinki this new year following too many pints of fruli and shots of minttu and boy was it tasty.

Soft bun, mayo, ketchup, gherkins, plastic cheese and about half-a-cow it had it all going on. Naughty but nice.

Guilty Pleasure: Ikea Meatballs

So wrong, and yet...so right

So… Everynow and again I hanker after something. Something wrong, something illicit. Something dirty.  The humble but oh-so tasty IKEA meatball.

IKEA is one of my favourite places to wander and mooch – it’s such good value, the Swedish shop sells amazing cheese and chocolate-marshmallow cakes (or clouds as I like to call them) dime bars and.. meatballs! I can never escape without picking up at least one bag. Every home should have some.

There’s no denying that they’re dirty. Full of fat. They smell distinctly wrong and I always eat them with a tonne of cheese. But mmmmmmmmmm. Get. In. Me!